Posted by Anonymous on 2015/06/04 under Uncategorized I am a 16 years old girl. i live in a country when girls are not allowed to do a lot of thinks. well it is really hard to explain it but i will start from the beggining.i always was a beautiful girl and some of the girls tell me that it is always going to be easy for you . but never felt like that.when i was in third grade my mother started to talk to me about how should i ack in school , she said that i should not talk to much to boys and if i ever got in a relationship my father would kill mme and then he would kill himself.it is hard to bevile isnt it ? it is true .that made me scared i was even afraid to talk to my friends. they started calling me names.i didnt even know how to defend myself. i lost my whole confidence .i started losing my friend too.she found another girl to talk to tell secrets to laught. well i dont blame her . i sucked .i coulnt even talk like a normal person . she dident get away from me she took me with her a lot but it they talked and i staited calm not talking. later she started to hide from me and to ignore me. well i didnt follow her a lot i just didnt want to be where i was not wanted. my problem was that i wasnt wanted by anyone. every time someone saw me they started telling jokes using me as the subjeck to laught at. and i tried so hard to change that but i always failed. i felt like i was alone and my intire world was aganst me. i didnt have anyone to speak out because no one understud me . my mother and father just kept telling me thinks to not emperrase them they never even talk about how i felt . if i was okay with it . no one ever told me how to stand up for myself they just told to ignore people. and even when i didnt wanted to ignore them i just didnt know how stand up for me. now i am in high school. and there are a lot of boys that want to be with me because they look at me and they see a beautiful girl but they dont know that i feel very bad for myself. well even if my father would let me be in a relationship that is never going to happen because he wants to marry me with who he wants to i am afraid that the boy i love wouldnt love me. maybe that is not try maybe i am better person that those other b****es he knows i am afraid to fail. i am afraid to try anything . i feel worthless.
i dont have anyone to talk to so i decaited to writte for the first time .